Session 8 of my life coaching experience with Deborah Chalk started with her introducing The Model Of Change by Martha Beck. This is a really useful tool for coping with change.
I, for one, definitely need all the help I can get with this, as I know I have an aversion to change.
Life can throw some big obstacles your way, and you generally follow these four cycles in order, but you can often change between the squares.
Square 1 – The Big Change – “I don’t know what is going on and that is OK”
This starts with a catalytic event such as a crisis, a choice or an opportunity.
Square 2 – Dreaming & Scheming – “There are no rules and it is OK”
Let yourself daydream about your goals and desires and work from there.
Square 3 – Heroes & Heroine Saga – “This is much harder than I expected, and it is OK”
Try and fail, try and fail, but just keep trying!
Square 4 – The Promised Land – “Everything is changing, and it is OK”
Practise gratitude and savour your success. As life is unpredictable, success may be short-lived so be grateful when it is in your life.
The Model encourages you to embrace change. Security comes in knowing how to navigate these obstacles and deal with the change they bring. Goodness that was helpful for me! What do you think about this model?
The Ideal Day
We were introduced to The Ideal Day Guided Visualisation Practice which helps you visualise what your ideal day looks like and how it feels to you.
Deborah asked us to find a comfortable place to sit, to place both feet on the floor, and imagine we had roots growing down from our feet that go deep through the foundations of your home, deep into the core of the earth.
We were to imagine waking up five years in the future and to think about the colours, the textures, the smells and the people in our surroundings.
I imagined waking up in bed and looking out of the window, I saw a beautiful English country rose garden. I imagined getting dressed, looking in my wardrobe and seeing a beautiful collection of clothes. I imagined going downstairs for breakfast, and eating a bowl of yogurt and muesli with my husband outside on the terrace in the sun. I imagined what my kitchen looked like. I then imagined going to my home office to work, having a very productive morning. I imagined spending the afternoon swimming in an open air pool, and seeing friends for dinner. My ideal guests were dear friends who I hadn’t seen in a while.
Deborah asked us to imagine we were in our right life with a sense of calm and a sense of purpose.
The beauty of this meditation for me is that I already feel like I am in my right life, so that is reassuring!
Deborah shared with us that her trainer Martha Beck asks her clients to send her a postcard when their ideal day eventually happens. Martha receives a lot of postcards, so the visualisation obviously works! I am definitely going to keep doing it.
Deborah asked us if anything unexpected came up during the meditation. It didn’t for me, it felt very natural and comfortable. Deborah informed us that it is common for new things to arise as and when you repeat the exercise.
Before our next session, we were to write down our WIGs – wildly improbable goals. We were to write a list of our beloved activities, and with each activity, write a WIG. Here are mine:
- I love to write so my WIG would be to have a best-selling book on the shelves at Waterstones.
- I loved acting at school and at university so my WIG would be to appear in a blockbuster movie.
- I love to paint so my WIG would be to have one of my paintings exhibited in an art gallery.
- I love seeing my friends and travelling so my WIG would be for us all to holiday together with our husbands and children.
What would be your WIGs? Have a think and write them down. Please feel free to share them in the comments below.