We started session 3 of our life coaching by reviewing the Body Compass Tool that we had learned in the last session. I admitted that I hadn’t been able to use the tool much over the week. Our coach, Deborah, reassured the group that this was fine. We don’t have to use it every day as it can be hard to change your way of thinking and be mindful all of the time. It is a useful tool to use whenever it is needed however.
In this session we covered ‘Thought Work’. We were introduced to a tool that we can use so we are not held back by our thoughts.
Interestingly thoughts that we think over and over again become easier to think. This is because the myelin sheath on the neural connection gets thicker over time. This can be extremely detrimental if we habitually think negative thoughts about ourselves.
Deborah gave us a great analogy to explain this. She likened this to skiing. If you continue to ski the same slope over and over, it may be the easiest path but it will become muddy and dirty. If you don’t like where this takes you, you can try a different path through fresh powder snow. It may be a harder route but it will take you off the original path of negativity. You can then create new neuro-connections with positive paths of thought.
The Thought Model by Brooke Castillo
Deborah asked us to get a pen and paper and to write down these letters.
She then asked us to think of a negative experience, not the worst experience but something we felt negative about.
What do the letters stand for?
- C stands for Circumstances. What happened?
- T stands for Thoughts. What did we think about what had happened? For example ‘I wish that hadn’t happened’ or ‘It is so unfair’.
- F stands for Feelings. What did we feel? Did it make us feel nervous, angry, unhappy, annoyed etc?
- A stands for Actions. What did we do about the situation? Did we decide to do nothing?
- R stands for Results. What happened as a result of our actions?
It is often best to work from the bottom up as if you don’t like the end results, you can change your actions, your feelings, and your thoughts.
It teaches you that if you change your thoughts to something slightly better it impacts on the rest of the model. It is a useful way of reflecting and reminds us that our thoughts can affect everything. If you think differently, you will act differently which will lead to different results.
There is a fantastic quote by Albert Einstein that reflects this:
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”
The ladies in the group shared their model based on their negative experience. One of the ladies in our group used the model to help her with something that really resonated with me. It made me realise we are often not alone in feeling the things we do. Working as part of a group has been enlightening on this front, and has allowed us to bounce ideas off each other.
If you think you could benefit from life coaching, I can highly recommend Deborah Chalk. You can check out her website here for more information: www.deborahchalk.com
You can read about my previous sessions here:
Do you think life coaching might be for you? Do you want to read more about it? Then sign up to my blog here.